golf cart crash
golf
by maurodj85
Met some wild people at Berlin the wildest being a fellow that works at a CurryWurst Store on the tram M10 line…I am very bad at street names but if you take M10 from Landberger Allee towards Danzinger and if you continue past Danzinger Strasse 20 where the really cool Sicilian Restaurant Incontri is and continue on the M10 you’ll see a little CurryWurst Store on the left hand side a little hidden around a curve on a corner under scaffolding. Here is the conversation from 6:30pm to 9:00 where he invited me for a beer to talk about life.
Hmm the little Curry Wurst Store looks interesting I walk in to a blonde 30 year old kid kneeling behind the counter at a beer cooler stocking the fridge.
Emme, “O hi My name is Emme I am a writer and would love to interview you about life.”
Hilarious Guy, “O okay today is not the best day. This fucking job I hate it I hate coming here as a matter of fact I quit two weeks ago and here I am again and I don’t know why I hate the fucking job.”
Emme, um…”Is there a reason you hate your job?”
Hilarious Guy slamming the bottles into the fridge and getting up and running back and forth out of site of the fryers and the counter and back again with more stock.”It is a loser job. I mean there isn’t any reason to continue working in a job that you receive nothing from. It’s the same everyday. I worked too hard my life to waste my life on a loser job. Man I don’t even know why I am here. I hate the fucking job., I quit the job 2 weeks ago and here I am again I mean I already quit the job I quit the job and O man I don’t even know why I am here, but here I am I am here now.”
Emme, um, okay…”You hate your employer or you hate the job or….”
Hilarious Guy,”I need something else. I don’t know what it is but I need something else. I don’t know what I want to do with my life but for two weeks I did nothing and it was enlightening you know and I realized that I need to do something with my life. I got called today and I am helping out a friend but Im not even supposed to be here Im not supposed to be doing this job I mean I quit two weeks ago.” He is going back and forth to the fryers and to the grill putting sausage upon sausage on the grill throwing them around running back and forth full of energy.
Emme,”Is there something that you would really enjoy doing>”
Hilarious Guy, “I don’t know I need something maybe more creative innovative.”
Emme, “So you are bored with the job?”
Hilarious Guy, “Yes I need something innovative to challenge me I am bored. And GODDDDD the same three questions everytime everytime the same three questions…GODDDED I am tired of answering the same three questions.”
Emme thinking of what these questions could be…visa number? Name on visa? Hostel name? right at that point 4 young customers age 18 to 21 come in stand at the counter and order in German…the Hilarious Guy all of a sudden starts yelling at the top of his lungs behind the counter, FUCK FUCK I HATE THIS FUCKING JOB FUCK!”The 4 customers just talk amongst themselves obviously not understanding English, Emme, laughing hysterically ,”o my God I cant believe he is screaming at the customers and their still ordering….”
Hilarious Guy taking their order while he talks to me, “See this is why I hate this fucking job there is no point ot it none at all. I mean what am I getting out of this job? Why am I here? God Fuck it Why am I even here? “
Emme, um…hmmm watching him throw the sausages on the grill and kind of dumbfounded by it all.. meanwhile the 4 customers just stand there at the counter waiting for their sausages and I am thinking do they understand that he is saying Fuck and that he hates his job? Or do they just want their sausages?
Hilarious Guy, “Hold on,” he yells to me as he is grilling the sausages,
“Let me get their sausages while I talk to you. Hey do you want ot go out for a beer after work I get off at 8 pm and Ive been here at this suck ass job all day if you want ot have a beer and just hang out?”
Emme,”Ya sure that would be great you can tell me more Curry Wurst stories, I better go now and interview more people and I can come back at 8.”
Hilarious Guy giving the sausages to the 4 people, “Wait have a Curry Wurst.”
Emme, “I never had one and I don’t think that I would like it I don’t really want a CurryWurst.”
Hilarious Guy, “Really really try it theyre really good they taste like American Breakfast Sausages. “
Emme, “No I don’t think that they taste like that and I don’t think I would like a CurryWurst.”
HG, “No no try a currywurst wait let me cook one for you. If you don’t like it you don’t have to eat it. Just try it.”
Emme, “Okay I’ll try it but I don’t think I am going to like it.”
HG cooks the CurryWurst complaining about his job the entire time and serving other customers during it, “Here you go try it.”
Emme trys it. Hmmm it is pretty good, “It is actually good. I like CurryWurst.” Eating the CurryWurst. Now it is 7:30 and I see that I should interview people.”I can come back at 8?”
HG, “Okay we can grab a beer at 8.”
Later at 8pm his relief an older lady is counting the money and she only speaks German HG, “Okay lets go she only speaks German and she is a pain in my ass.” While the lady is standing next to him…hmmm um, Emme, “okay.”
We walk around the side of the building to a little sweet bar of about 8 seats at the bar and a couple of tables. We sit at the bar and we order Czech beer since it is on special of 1.70 per beer.
HG, “I lived at Philadelphia for awhile and I worked at the Ritz Carlton as a Concierge and I made about 150,000.00 per year and half of these there tips.”
Emme, “hmm that is pretty good I wish I made 70,000.00 on tips.”
HG, “Yea I knew Philadelphia pretty well but I didn’t like it. Because It isn’t a big city. And it is boring after awhile so I went to Europe and I ve been at Berlin for 3 years.”
Emme, “Did you live at Philadelphia when the Strand Bar is there?”
HG, “where is it?”
Emme, “It used to be at near 13 12 Locust that block in 1991.”
HG “No there is a gay bar there then , now my friend and I were nude models and we used to nude model for the Philadlephia Arts Institute and a couple of times we would nude model at the Gay Bar upstairs even though we’re straight they had dance night and you could make really good tips dancing.”
Emme, “Really well anyway, there is a huge nightclub with about 5 different levels called the Strand and they had about 3 dance floors and smokey little bars attached to them and about 3 dance floors that you had to find behind private closed doors that were private and dark and disco lights.My friend and me went there one night first night and we met this girl named Janey at the bar and she worked there and I think she was some big Philadelphia Mob person and there was a guy at the bar she kept calling Roscoe and he laid his big gun on the bar and I was like hmmm it is a Wednesday night and here I am at Philadelphia underage and there is a big Luca Brotzi laying a big gun on the bar. At that point me and my friend said lets go dance and we find all these cool rooms and we met this guy about 28 he is really cute and slicked back hair and a tie on and we start dancing in a private huge dance room and he starts twirling me around and around and my dress is flying up and my friend is laughing. We all share a cab about 2 in the morning and he lived at the Packard building. We dropped him off there and we went to the 1666 Lofts at Logan View from there. The very next morning I read that the Strand Burnt down to the ground! The only time I got to see it and have fun! And the next morning the Strand burns to the ground literally all of it. Nothing left!”
Here is a tribute to my bodyguard who helped cook Raymond noodles on the 51 meter MARE docked at the Monaco Hercules Harbor...He had been with me since i came to London at the age of 15 to the London Academy of Performing Arts and is featured on the Venice BEL SITO Brochure standing near the canals arch leaning against the wall dressed in an amish hat...I loved him the last time i saw him is being wheeled into 20 Borgo Angelico Rome Italy
after being abused repeatedly and down to 100 pounds...here is to Amish... I do not know what he did to have been abused and tortured the way he must of been to be in that shape as i tried to stop him from being wheeled inside all i know and will remember the rest of my days is that look in his eyes of utter pain hopeless i can not describe it it was a look of such emotional torture that i could and do feel his pain every day...to love someone that has been emotionally and physically abused and their hope and manhood taken from them and to see it and to be too late
to have stopped what happened before and to try to stop what is about to happen is something more than i could bare...And i shall hate the two people who took the one i loved inside for the rest of my life forever.
On the yacht MARE the cook aka augustus would only cook Ramon noodles he ordered case upon case of em mostly because he didnt know how to cook kind of the way i cooked and lasted for 5 days on the Blanc Bleu yacht at St Tropez without knowing how to cook only i shopped with the deckhands and used french cookbooks and slaved in the kitchen 24 7 for 5 days and at least tried to do all they asked meanwhile Augustus decided to only order Ramon noodles as i said cases of em since he didnt know how to cook we all laughed and thought it to be great fun being my twin we had a charlie babbit kmart raymond relationship and when the guests asked for sandwiches he said that he didnt know how to make a sandwich! He supposedelyt lasted 3 days, although we came on board immediately after and he was seen sneaking around the engine room during the entire time! The cook on board during my journey on the MARE was a 5 star in the cannes famous magazines of how she had owned her own restaurant etc and the food and desserts she made were out of this world when she told me that she had found cases and cases as in cases on top of dolleys being wheeled in of Ramon noodles that the chef before her had ordered that and that is all i couldnt stop laughing knowing that it had to be Augustus since he knew that i had been a chef on the yacht at St Tropez he would of had to be a chef too!!!
WE thought it all in fun but the owners and etc take that stuff seriously hence his hiding in the huge 51 meter length under the hull engine and storage rooms the entire voyage of my 5 days!
PRESS VIDEO TO PLAY
2:44 eu
as you can see ginarkills or trys to the caddyshack gopher that would be me here is me dancing still alive yes
Rule 4.c.7 (h): If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it
is
deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the law of
golf.
Rule 6.a.9 (k): There is no penalty for so called "out of bounds". If penny-pinching golf club owners bought sufficient land this would not occur. The golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.
Rule 7.g.15 (z): There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. That they do not is a technical problem that manufacturers have to correct. (sagaee dont not confuse sugar problem with technical problems...)
The following truisms may shed some light:
Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players
being honorable people who don't need referees.
Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.
Do
You Have Clean Golf Jokes That
I Could Use Here?
Have Them Ready
To Print, I Cut And Paste. 
found on golf web
